As usual, it's nap time in my house as I write this, and I usually think of the quiet, uninterrupted hours of sleeping or (pretend sleeping in the case of my 2 year old) as 'me' time. But today, before I even really cleaned up from lunch or straightened up the house, a neighbor of mine 'had the nerve' to knock on my door and ask if he could hang out for a couple of hours because he was locked out of his house. I welcomed him in immediately, but then started to feel a little strange...Bailey was still barking at him (she's our energeti c Jack Russel if you didn't know), I became more embarrassed of the messy house the more I looked around, and so my thoughts turned from welcoming mode to problem solving mode. I asked if he had checked with the office about letting him in, citing various policies from our past apartment complexes. He said he had not tried, and stood right up to go check, saying he would Accept the invitation to come back if there was any kind of fee. 10 minutes went by and he didn't return, so I ventured over to the office to check on him (I did lock myself out a lot at our old place, so it couldn't hurt to see what the policy was, and get the mail). He was there and said they had given him a key to get in, and even remembered something he had forgotten to do that would take some time anyway. So while I know I would have been happen if I were him to get back into my apartment, I know that I did not welcome him with the heart that Jesus calls us to when He says,
"Whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers or sisters of mine, you did for me....and whatever you did not do for one of the least of these brothers or sisters you did not do for me." Matthew25:40, 45
My actions are hitting me especially hard because this is the second request from this same neighbor that I have pretty much redirected...tried to help, but reservedly. When we first moved into this new complex, we made a point of trying to connect with each of our neighbors, offering baked goods (my favorite), help moving, seeping and cleaning, etc. So that we truly could present ourselves as neighbors who wanted to know them, serve them, and love them. But when someone really had a need (or two), how did I respond...selfishly, because it was 'me' time, or was inconvenient.
So today I am praying to have a heart that is open to serve and love anyone, anywhere...because God seems to do His best work in and through the unexpected, don't you think?
p.s. I am feeling very lethargic and quite nauseous again today, after my second day donating plasma. As much of a blessing as it is to help us save up for Christmas presents, I made a choice to move the day I donate next week so that I could keep the commitment to prayer and fasting on Tuesdays and still provide for my physical needs on donating days.
This is a really great insight of how we do need to be more neighborly and serve those around us--however, I think it's okay for a woman by herself to feel uncomfortable when a strange man (even a neighbor) wants to spend an undetermined amount of time alone with her in her home.
ReplyDeleteFor the record, you're a wonderful neighbor and a delightful addition to this complex. :) But your desire to do more is certainly inspiring, and it's motivated me to reach out more myself.
Way to make the world a better place, one blog post at a time!
Courtney :)
ReplyDeleteYour title is exactly how I'm feeling right now...as I sit reading blogs in my PJs. I really like this post. It's amazing how God can use us even when we're not at our best. I've been reading Brennan Manning's books recently and there's a sweet passage in one of them---I think it's Ragamuffin Gospel---that comparing our 'good works' and walk with Christ to a child trying to help their mom or ake a gift and how even if the gift is completely useless and the help may only be getting in the way, God is still touched in a way words can't express. As a young? old? girl touched by your life and how you love God with everything you are, I can honestly say that you will change lives down there in PA and maybe once or twice you'll do it with a cold :)
I love you! Look for another letter in the mail soon! Tell Matt and Ellie and Liam and Bailey I say hello
Alyssa
PS: I have a blog too now! It's http://alyssabjoy12713.blogspot.com/ Come check it out if you get a spare moment :)