We got home from a 5 day trip late last night, which included lots of action packed days, and a broken down car on the way home. The children and I still made it to our life group while my husband finished up important work that was due last night. So you know how those next mornings go right after returning home- piles of laundry, things to put away, catching up on what was missed, planning for the week ahead. It could have been easy again to skip today because it just wasn't the ideal day to take so much time praying, and I was just happy to be home and wanted to enjoy a normal lunch with my children. But I have to remember that sometimes in life things don't come at the perfect time- like a broken down car, death, injuries, other big expenses. In these times it is even more important to take refuge and seek rest in the Lord. I don't have much to report about the topic of my prayers today, just praising God for His goodness and asking Him to reveal Himself to those who do not know Him.
THE WORD: “There is no one like the God of Jeshurun, who rides across the heavens to help you and on the clouds in his majesty. The eternal. God is your refuge, and underneath are the everlasting arms." Deuteronomy 33:26-27
Just a great passage to meditate on, that there is no one God can be compared to, He is present, active, eternal, and wants to be our refuge.
FOOD STORY: I am feeling very weak at this point in the late afternoon, but again don't feel that my body is in a harmful state. So I am trying to embrace the feeling of weakness to still respond in love to myself and others, because know there will soon come a time when I am forced to be slower and weaker. The chocolate chip zucchini bread turned out to be delicious by the the way :)
Tuesday, July 31, 2012
Tuesday, July 24, 2012
Baking without tasting
I admit i have no self control around fresh baked goods. A friend once suggested to me following her example of baking, but then giving the product away. I was always happy to receive her gifts of goodies, but I responded that if I am going to make the effort to bake (which is effort to me, only a tiny bit fun), then I want to enjoy it all! yesterday I was gifted a GIANT zucchini by another gardener when the children and I were out working on ours, so I decided to make zucchini bread (with chocolate chips of course) for a neighbor I had been wanting to connect with again, and for some relatives we would be staying with and seeing this weekend. Even though these were my intentions to start with, the sadness of not eating any today is sinking in now as I smell the delicious bread in the oven. I know I could easily make a case for me tasting one muffin just to make sure they are edible for said recipients :) but I know that my decision today has the potential to continue changing my heart into that of a servant. If I am honest I know that it's not just baking that I find this attitude. I am happy to love and serve others...but I also really want some things in return, from them or from God. I feel like I am 'putting the time in' to do something, and I should be able to expect a little something in return, right?
THE WORD: "But love your enemies, do good to them, and lend to them without expecting to get anything back. Then your reward will be great, and you will be children of the Most High, because he is kind to the ungrateful and wicked." Luke 6:35
Oh darn, that Word of God always seems to go against that sinful nature I feel creeping up. I guess if it will please God to spend lots of time baking and give it away, that could make my heart just as happy as indulging in my baked deliciousnes. This change may not be overnight, I may have to start by giving a fraction away, then increasing the fraction over time. I know it's sad, but I'm serious :) I hope also that next time I am in a situation where I have earned or get to do something really cool and have the opportunity to share it or give it away, I pray my heart will be more eager to give that away too, without expecting anything in return!
PRAYER: To be willing to give away more of my time, products of my time, even gifts, without expecting anything in return.
FOOD STORY: Still pregnant (praise God), still feeling great (praise God). We have late dinner plans tonight and I doubt I will make it until then, but already telling myself to wait on testing one of these delicious muffins until we get home and reaching for some less exciting snack to tide me over after giving great thanks and praise to God to break my fast. Off I got to make one more batch- because I really wasn't lying about how GIANT that zucchini is!
THE WORD: "But love your enemies, do good to them, and lend to them without expecting to get anything back. Then your reward will be great, and you will be children of the Most High, because he is kind to the ungrateful and wicked." Luke 6:35
Oh darn, that Word of God always seems to go against that sinful nature I feel creeping up. I guess if it will please God to spend lots of time baking and give it away, that could make my heart just as happy as indulging in my baked deliciousnes. This change may not be overnight, I may have to start by giving a fraction away, then increasing the fraction over time. I know it's sad, but I'm serious :) I hope also that next time I am in a situation where I have earned or get to do something really cool and have the opportunity to share it or give it away, I pray my heart will be more eager to give that away too, without expecting anything in return!
PRAYER: To be willing to give away more of my time, products of my time, even gifts, without expecting anything in return.
FOOD STORY: Still pregnant (praise God), still feeling great (praise God). We have late dinner plans tonight and I doubt I will make it until then, but already telling myself to wait on testing one of these delicious muffins until we get home and reaching for some less exciting snack to tide me over after giving great thanks and praise to God to break my fast. Off I got to make one more batch- because I really wasn't lying about how GIANT that zucchini is!
Tuesday, July 17, 2012
Being Selfish
Tonight, the leadership board of our church is meeting to discuss how to proceed if (sounds more like when) our senior pastor takes a position at another church. When he made this emotional announcement on Sunday, I did not have a strong reaction either way. We love this church so much and trust that it is serving and following the Lord, so one person leaving will not change that too much. What I especially loved in his sermon, was how he talked of serving the Church with a big 'C', whether that meant with us, as he wanted to, or at this new place, as he felt God wanted him to. He had a dream of seeing God move in a big way here in our city, some of which he has seen in his time here, some he trusted was yet to come- but he heard God telling him that these things were going to happen without him. He had to let the dream go to follow God's command, and we have to let him. Because our pastor is not really 'our' pastor. We are all part of The Church, and need to trust that God is sending him where he is needed, whether it is with us or not. We can all tell this has been a difficult decision, but he reminded us that we are not just 'playing' church, we really do believe that when God directs, we follow.
This got me thinking- what are my dreams? What if God called me to something totally different, even if I thought it was a dream that would draw myself and others to Him and bring Him Glory? Would I trust and go/do willingly, fight for what I wanted and thought was best, or simply pretend I didn't hear the command in the first place? Am I just 'playing' being a Christian, or am I really trying to hear from God and willing to adjust my life to His direction?
The Word: "Trust in the Lord with all of your heart and lean not on your understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him and He will make your paths straight" Prov. 3:5-6
Prayer: For our leadership team and our pastor as they continue to determine God's plan for each of them, our church, and our mission to the world. For us the Church to seek the Lord in every decision and trust in following God's directions.
Food Story: I am feeling fabulous this week, and though I feel convicted saying that my attitude has turned around because my health has, for now I am just thankful and trying to share my positive attitude with other people. Since I am feeling better altogether, I decided to try and fast as normal. I did have a late morning cracker snack when I was feeling nauseous. I started preparing a lunch as normal but checked myself and knew that I was really just doing it out of habit, and my body really felt capable today. It is now late afternoon and I can tell I will have the opportunity to practice repenting of the sin I first mentioned of maintaining a good attitude even if my body is not feeling great :)
This got me thinking- what are my dreams? What if God called me to something totally different, even if I thought it was a dream that would draw myself and others to Him and bring Him Glory? Would I trust and go/do willingly, fight for what I wanted and thought was best, or simply pretend I didn't hear the command in the first place? Am I just 'playing' being a Christian, or am I really trying to hear from God and willing to adjust my life to His direction?
The Word: "Trust in the Lord with all of your heart and lean not on your understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him and He will make your paths straight" Prov. 3:5-6
Prayer: For our leadership team and our pastor as they continue to determine God's plan for each of them, our church, and our mission to the world. For us the Church to seek the Lord in every decision and trust in following God's directions.
Food Story: I am feeling fabulous this week, and though I feel convicted saying that my attitude has turned around because my health has, for now I am just thankful and trying to share my positive attitude with other people. Since I am feeling better altogether, I decided to try and fast as normal. I did have a late morning cracker snack when I was feeling nauseous. I started preparing a lunch as normal but checked myself and knew that I was really just doing it out of habit, and my body really felt capable today. It is now late afternoon and I can tell I will have the opportunity to practice repenting of the sin I first mentioned of maintaining a good attitude even if my body is not feeling great :)
Thursday, July 12, 2012
Mixing it up when I'm all mixed up
So all this week, especially Tuesday- my normal prayer and fasting day- I have been feeling really off. As I shared before, this could just be baby symptoms, but I also have had serious back and neck pain, headache, fatigue, and along with that comes a general crankiness :) I thought about praying and fasting Tuesday after the kids were down for nap time, but it was only a fleeting thought as I curled up in my bed with my rice socks and blanket. Today I was catching up on the introduction of our life group's new study on prayer (which I missed because of said sicknesses), and taking time to pray as it suggested, I realized that I have been very self-centered and forgetful about how God has restored me body and soul when I take the time to seek rest in Him rather than simply physical rest. Even though I am still not feeling wonderful, taking time to worship God in prayer and think about His purpose for me and the others around me that He loves has perked me up :) And as I type and go about the rest of the day, I am going to try and live like I read about it Revelation today:
The Word: "Then the four living creatures said, 'Amen!' And the twenty-four elders fell down and worshipped Him who lives forever and ever." Revelation 5:14
I know 'Amen' can be used as an affirmation or agreement in prayer, but when I first read it, I just loved the picture of the many verses of worship and adoration beforehand (verses 8-13), then this at the end....and it just kept going! I am excited to start our group study on transforming to a worship-based style of prayer that is lived throughout each day.
Prayer: That I would remember to worship God in whatever state I am in and seek intimacy in prayer that leads to the fulfillment of His purposes (paraphrasing Alvin Reid).
Food Story: It may be a cop-out, I don't know, but as I implied before, I ate on Tuesday and dedicated very little time to prayer, and I ate lunch again today because I am getting regular bouts of nausea, mostly when I have not eaten in a while. But instead, I figured God would not mind me mixing it up a bit by committing to even more than 1 day a week of prayer- crazy I know! A website was created to sign up for prayer slots during the annual arts fest here. The idea is to cover the city and the tens of thousands who come just for this with the presence of God, very cool :) At first I was a little intimidated by the website, asking for prayer warriors and intercessors. I have not gotten any official training or received my intercessor certificate from the church or anything (haha), but I am stepping out to make this committment because I know our city, like every city will be blessed if our God is the Lord, and the same goes for my life!
The Word: "Then the four living creatures said, 'Amen!' And the twenty-four elders fell down and worshipped Him who lives forever and ever." Revelation 5:14
I know 'Amen' can be used as an affirmation or agreement in prayer, but when I first read it, I just loved the picture of the many verses of worship and adoration beforehand (verses 8-13), then this at the end....and it just kept going! I am excited to start our group study on transforming to a worship-based style of prayer that is lived throughout each day.
Prayer: That I would remember to worship God in whatever state I am in and seek intimacy in prayer that leads to the fulfillment of His purposes (paraphrasing Alvin Reid).
Food Story: It may be a cop-out, I don't know, but as I implied before, I ate on Tuesday and dedicated very little time to prayer, and I ate lunch again today because I am getting regular bouts of nausea, mostly when I have not eaten in a while. But instead, I figured God would not mind me mixing it up a bit by committing to even more than 1 day a week of prayer- crazy I know! A website was created to sign up for prayer slots during the annual arts fest here. The idea is to cover the city and the tens of thousands who come just for this with the presence of God, very cool :) At first I was a little intimidated by the website, asking for prayer warriors and intercessors. I have not gotten any official training or received my intercessor certificate from the church or anything (haha), but I am stepping out to make this committment because I know our city, like every city will be blessed if our God is the Lord, and the same goes for my life!
Tuesday, July 3, 2012
Rejoicing over 1
So I am a little bit down this afternoon, though I shouldn't be because it is our son's second birthday and we had a wonderful morning together. But what is sad is that I am finishing up plans for his birthday party two days from now and it looks as though most of our/his friends will not be available. I planned lots of cool games, goodie bags, and am continuing my tradition of making his creative, themed, birthday cake- and I just want more people there to share it all with us. I prayed first today about being more thankful for those who will be with us, and just for our family and our son in general, and a verse came to mind:
The Word: "In the same way, I tell you, there is rejoining in the presence of the angels of God over one sunner who repents." Luke 15:10
This verse just reminded me that God throws a party for ONE when they come to Him- he doesn't have the angels wait around for a few more people to come and make all the preparations/efforts worthwhile. So whether there are 5 or 10 or 20, each life is as special to us as it is to God and we will celebrate it with great joy! As I was writing this, a group of our neighborhood girls knocked on the door and asked to join us for dinner. Since I am not in the cheeriest mood as I said before, my immediate response was 'no, tonight is our son't birthday and we want to be able to focus on him'. But really we have had a lot of time for that already tonight, and will have more tonight, and here I am complaining about lack of party-goers when they are knocking on my door asking to celebrate with us. Excuse me while I run out to tell them I spoke too hastily and we would love their company to show our son how loved he is!
Food Story: So we have not made the big announcement to everyone yet because I have not been to the doctor, but we are expecting a third child next February! Today being my first fast since being pregnant, I am struggling with whether to continue or not. I have been somewhat nauseous this morning, which is unusual compared to my last two pregnancies, and am also feeling hungry. The debate continues, almost halfway through the afternoon as to whether to eat some crackers just for the nausea....I think like the Sabbath being made for man, not man for the Sabbath, this practice of fasting has really been for my 'gain' in emptying myself more and more and bringing me closer to God. So if I need to cut myself a little slack as I grow a human life inside of me :), I think some crackers or other bland food will not hinder this goal!
The Word: "In the same way, I tell you, there is rejoining in the presence of the angels of God over one sunner who repents." Luke 15:10
This verse just reminded me that God throws a party for ONE when they come to Him- he doesn't have the angels wait around for a few more people to come and make all the preparations/efforts worthwhile. So whether there are 5 or 10 or 20, each life is as special to us as it is to God and we will celebrate it with great joy! As I was writing this, a group of our neighborhood girls knocked on the door and asked to join us for dinner. Since I am not in the cheeriest mood as I said before, my immediate response was 'no, tonight is our son't birthday and we want to be able to focus on him'. But really we have had a lot of time for that already tonight, and will have more tonight, and here I am complaining about lack of party-goers when they are knocking on my door asking to celebrate with us. Excuse me while I run out to tell them I spoke too hastily and we would love their company to show our son how loved he is!
Food Story: So we have not made the big announcement to everyone yet because I have not been to the doctor, but we are expecting a third child next February! Today being my first fast since being pregnant, I am struggling with whether to continue or not. I have been somewhat nauseous this morning, which is unusual compared to my last two pregnancies, and am also feeling hungry. The debate continues, almost halfway through the afternoon as to whether to eat some crackers just for the nausea....I think like the Sabbath being made for man, not man for the Sabbath, this practice of fasting has really been for my 'gain' in emptying myself more and more and bringing me closer to God. So if I need to cut myself a little slack as I grow a human life inside of me :), I think some crackers or other bland food will not hinder this goal!
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