Ever since last Tuesday when so many of you responded to my public announcement about this blog, I have be looking forward to today, praying all week for God to speak and give me ears to hear what He wants me to learn and accomplish through me today by prayer and fasting. All week long I have felt the same call to continue to plan (physically, mentally, emotonally, spirtually) for adoption. I thought of so many of you who are 'following', and the wisdom you can provide about coming from homes that have adopted, have adopted children already, support other orphan care, etc. I know very little about the whole process, but I know that the foundation for any adoption will need to be on our Rock, so I figured I better bring Him into the process at the beginning (I know, silly of me to think, like He hasn't already been here and planned our path since before time began!), by really seeking him in prayer and fasting today. I planned all week to ask you all to provide any insight you can offer, pray with us that God would show us what He has prepared when the time is right, and helpful ways to start the process- books you read, people you talked to, things you didn't expect, good questions to ask/things to consider, etc. But this morning when I woke up and started praying again for the day, the same topic came to mind, only this time I started thinking about what might actually happen if I prayed and wrote about this (since there are actually people reading- yay!). People may respond and I would have read lots of e-mails and write them back, I will have to read some books they recommend, or make appointments at adoption centers, look at certain websites...this seemed like a lot of work. 'God, are you sure there's not something simpler I can pray for today?'.
"What man of you, having anbundred sheep, if he loses one of them, does not leave the ninety-nine in the wilderness, and go after the one which is lost until he finds it?...Or what woman, having ten silver coins, if she loses one coin, does not light a lamp, sweep the house, and search carefully until she finds it?...(the lost son) arose and wen to his father. But when he was still a great way off, his father saw him and had compassion, and ran and fell on his neck and kissed him" Luke 15
So Jesus reiterates three times that He doesn't just sit around and wait for us wander to Him and ask to become part of his family- he knocks, he searches, he clears away, he runs. I am so grateful that God did not leave me lonely, dirty, or homeless, because I was a lot of work. It makes me think of the child/children God may see in the world who is waiting to be found and brought into a family, giving them a glimpse of how God grafted us into His family. So today I was especially praying that God would help me listen for what His will is for our family, but also to be willing to 'get dirty' and put in some work to carry out what God is calling us to.
As evidenced by this blog, I did push away my own complacency, desire for comfort and ease, and to pray and fast about adoption. So if you have any insight, like I discussed above, please respond- I am ready to do some work!
Tuesday, August 30, 2011
Tuesday, August 23, 2011
Shake Me Up
I was folding laundry earlier this afternoon when I felt the ground start to tremble beneath me. It was not a scary, the sky is falling trembling, more like a fun 'wiggling'. Since it persisted for about 30 seconds straight, I thought it was fair to assume that this was more than just our upstairs neighbors or a large piece of farm equipment coming down our street. My suspicions were confirmed after texting friends and family and talking to a few people outsde- I had just been in my first (hopefully my last, I guess) earthquake! This Tuesday fast has been wonderful in helping me start the day off with a great sense of purpose, praying for God's spirit to be present and lay on my heart needs of others. But today I was just not that energized. The kids and I were out most of the morning and by the time they laid down for their naps, I was definitely feeling like joining them. Before I could, however, I decided it made sense to fold and put away the laundry that was scattered all over the living room- the couch, the drying racks, the floor- you know how it is! I had this sort of ho-hum attitutude about it and since I was starting to get hungry I was just looking forward to a nice nap to relax and pass the time until dinner. Now I'm not saying that God sent this 6.0 earthquake from VA to DC just to stir me up, but after this event, I didn't feel like sleeping any more. I was just in awe of the world, felt connected to others on this planet in other places where people felt it, and my strength was renewed. Then this verse came to mind:
"This day is holy to our Lord. Do not sorrow, for the joy of the Lord is your strength" Neh 8:10
Next time I am feeling ho-hummish about my day, I may try and create a spirtual earthquake of sorts- looking all around, seeing creation in a whole new powerful way, feeling connected to my neighbors, and drawing in the renwed joy and strength that I know God wants to provide. He drew me back to Him in prayer and blogging, and entered into mundane tasks to fill them with joy.
God tells us in His Word that he draws people to himself, but it also tells us to seek him with all of our heart and we will find Him. I am thanksful to God for stirring in my heart, and pray that this blog is just one way I am trying to respond and seek Him more deeply. But up to this point, I have not told anyone that I have been writing it- I think my two followers happened upon it by accident and stuck around- yay! But I think that welcoming more family and friends to read this blog could 'shake me up' even more, destroy compacency by increasing accountability, expand my scope of prayer and view of God at work in the world, and maybe inspire other ho-hummers to really seek after God with me- through prayer, fasting, or otherwise. So if this is the first entry you are reading- thank you and welcome! Please consider yourself on this journey with me by responding in any way you feel led- questions, prayer requests, funny stories of your own, thoughts on fasting, writing tips, etc. This blog and I are a work in progress, but we're havng fun!
"This day is holy to our Lord. Do not sorrow, for the joy of the Lord is your strength" Neh 8:10
Next time I am feeling ho-hummish about my day, I may try and create a spirtual earthquake of sorts- looking all around, seeing creation in a whole new powerful way, feeling connected to my neighbors, and drawing in the renwed joy and strength that I know God wants to provide. He drew me back to Him in prayer and blogging, and entered into mundane tasks to fill them with joy.
God tells us in His Word that he draws people to himself, but it also tells us to seek him with all of our heart and we will find Him. I am thanksful to God for stirring in my heart, and pray that this blog is just one way I am trying to respond and seek Him more deeply. But up to this point, I have not told anyone that I have been writing it- I think my two followers happened upon it by accident and stuck around- yay! But I think that welcoming more family and friends to read this blog could 'shake me up' even more, destroy compacency by increasing accountability, expand my scope of prayer and view of God at work in the world, and maybe inspire other ho-hummers to really seek after God with me- through prayer, fasting, or otherwise. So if this is the first entry you are reading- thank you and welcome! Please consider yourself on this journey with me by responding in any way you feel led- questions, prayer requests, funny stories of your own, thoughts on fasting, writing tips, etc. This blog and I are a work in progress, but we're havng fun!
Tuesday, August 16, 2011
How to Pray
(Quick side note before I get to the 'real entry'. I confess that my favorite show of all time continues to be 'Friends', and I enjoy watching our DVD series any down time I get. With fasting on Tuesdays, I often feel like I have more 'down' time, hence, more 'Friends'. I turned an episode on even as I sat to write this entry and found that it took me about 10 minutes before I even typed the first word. Now I'm not saying that 'Friends' won't be back on in a little while as I complete some necessary chores, but I was reminded not to consider 'down time' on these days as something to be filled with activity that just passes the time, but to actually be in prayer, and ponder in my heart how this prayer and fasting is changing my heart and mind too- so I think I will make silence during this 'writing' time a priority. Thanks for listening, now on to what I was really intended to write about today)
You would think that if I started a blog about prayer and fasting, I should know something about praying, right? Well I wrote before that there are a lot of 'mountains' in my life that I thought only serious prayer and fasting could 'move', and today I am praying for one of those- a seriously ill, almost to the point of death, extended family member. And I have been hunbled to admit today that when it really counts in these tough instances, I am at a loss as to how to actually pray for him. I started with simply 'Thy will be done', but thought I was shorting his wife a bit, admitting that if it were my husband in this situation I would be fervently praying for healing, with just a touch of 'Thy will be done'. To be honest, I don't know this relative very well so it is hard to feel strongly one way or another whether God would be more glorified through him in death, or in life, but one thing I do know is, that is what God wants- to be glorified. I know too, that he has not yet known Jesus in any sense- Savior, Lord, Creator, Friend, despite being lovingly pursued by Him- so I am praying for that too. It still all doesn't really add up to much, I feel, in the way of a 'good prayer', until I remember this verse:
"We do not know what we ought to prayer for, but the Spirit Himself intercedes for us wth groans that words cannot express" Romans 8:26
I feel convicted that sometimes I am trying too hard to think of and pray to solve the problems I feel I should pray/fast for on these Tuesdays, instead of simply dedicating myself to prayer- an actual interchange between myself and the Spirit of the Lord, letting Hm decide where my prayer is most needed in the world.
Praying For: God to speak to us about how to pray...specifically in times of sickness and death, and especially for my relative.
You would think that if I started a blog about prayer and fasting, I should know something about praying, right? Well I wrote before that there are a lot of 'mountains' in my life that I thought only serious prayer and fasting could 'move', and today I am praying for one of those- a seriously ill, almost to the point of death, extended family member. And I have been hunbled to admit today that when it really counts in these tough instances, I am at a loss as to how to actually pray for him. I started with simply 'Thy will be done', but thought I was shorting his wife a bit, admitting that if it were my husband in this situation I would be fervently praying for healing, with just a touch of 'Thy will be done'. To be honest, I don't know this relative very well so it is hard to feel strongly one way or another whether God would be more glorified through him in death, or in life, but one thing I do know is, that is what God wants- to be glorified. I know too, that he has not yet known Jesus in any sense- Savior, Lord, Creator, Friend, despite being lovingly pursued by Him- so I am praying for that too. It still all doesn't really add up to much, I feel, in the way of a 'good prayer', until I remember this verse:
"We do not know what we ought to prayer for, but the Spirit Himself intercedes for us wth groans that words cannot express" Romans 8:26
I feel convicted that sometimes I am trying too hard to think of and pray to solve the problems I feel I should pray/fast for on these Tuesdays, instead of simply dedicating myself to prayer- an actual interchange between myself and the Spirit of the Lord, letting Hm decide where my prayer is most needed in the world.
Praying For: God to speak to us about how to pray...specifically in times of sickness and death, and especially for my relative.
Tuesday, August 9, 2011
Put Down the Memory Verse Cards
I had a great opportunity today to have a new friend's daughter join us for lunch. While I was cooking and serving them food, I thought it was the perfect set-up for fasting because I didn't have to worry about getting myself food, trying to eat in between their requests, hurrying to finish before they were ready to play again, etc. My daughter invited me to sit at the table with them, which made me happy- I know there will be a time, especially in front of a friend, that she will not want me to join them. But after sitting for probably less than 30 seconds and taking one happy deep breath, I started to feel idle- I wasn't getting anything done, two kids are eating happily and I could be accomplishing something right now. So I grabbed one of my stacks of memory verse cards and went back to the table to go through them. Sounds wonderful and innocent enough, right? I honestly do believe that I should hide God's word in my heart, that I might not sin against him, to remember his faithfulness, etc., but today I sensed His Sprit saying that I was keeping my mind too busy to really hear and respond to God's call to pray for others.
"Watch and Pray, lest you fall into temptation. " Matthew 26:41
Temptation doesn't have to mean the really obvious bad things I have heard or read about, or my own worst sin, it can also be a temptation to seek my own agenda and not leave room for God to move in and through me. I love this weekly fast because it is special time set aside to teach me about watching and praying. I wake up expecting God to speak to me about how to pray for and ecnourage others or seek him more deeply. Today I decided to put away my memory verse cards until later, and enjoyed watching God in these precious little children and in pictures of our friends who are missionaries in Turkey on our wall. My prayers today are for these friends who are expecting another child and in need of playdates like I had the opportunity to have today.
"Watch and Pray, lest you fall into temptation. " Matthew 26:41
Temptation doesn't have to mean the really obvious bad things I have heard or read about, or my own worst sin, it can also be a temptation to seek my own agenda and not leave room for God to move in and through me. I love this weekly fast because it is special time set aside to teach me about watching and praying. I wake up expecting God to speak to me about how to pray for and ecnourage others or seek him more deeply. Today I decided to put away my memory verse cards until later, and enjoyed watching God in these precious little children and in pictures of our friends who are missionaries in Turkey on our wall. My prayers today are for these friends who are expecting another child and in need of playdates like I had the opportunity to have today.
Wednesday, August 3, 2011
The Back-Up Plan
Do you ever have those days where you feel like you're running on auto-pilot? Usually I am thankful for this setting and appreciate getting plenty of work done without having to direct each action. So I took the kids out for our usual picnic lunch, brought them back for reading and nap times, then went to the fridge, prepared a nice lunch and and ate it while watching The Family Feud. After cleaning up from the morning, my brain finally started to think again about what to do for the afternoon and I remembered- it's Tuesday! Shoot, now my brain went into overdrive- feeling bad for not keeping my committment, ashamed at just being so forgetful in general, etc. I thought about just forgetting the day all together and waiting until next week, skipping dinner instead...or I could fast from something else this afternoon. I decided not to turn on the TV all afternoon in order to pray and meditate on God's Word while completing chores and other tasks this day.
"I have swept away your offenses like a cloud, your sins like the morning mist. Return to me, for I have redeemed you.” Isaiah 44:22
I knew God did not want me to dwell on my 'offense', but still, like every other day, to serve and love him! The lack of TV was a sacrifice for me and I know that God understood that and I hope found joy in that offering. But this verse came to me in another sense later in the day too. If you know me, you know I have a bad habit of hitting myself on anything and everything as I walk by it. So as it happens many times a day, I kicked a toy as I walked to let our dog out, and harsh words start coming to my mind, some pouring out of my mouth. I felt very negative- about the incident, about myself, and about my reaction. Again I had a lot of options- just forget about it, try again tomorrow to fight my quick temper, justify my actions, apologize to my kids who saw my overreaction, etc. I thought of this verse because I hear many Christians, including myself sometimes, say/think that they have never had that 'big conversion' experience, making it harder to share the Gospel with others. To that I say that times like today are my real conversion experiences- each little choice/failure/poor decision/joy- can be an opportunity to come to God and praise Him. So my prayers today are that we would have the courage to face these important conversion experiences and no matter what the outcome, to return to God - repent if necessary, but praise and rely on Him for each situation.
"I have swept away your offenses like a cloud, your sins like the morning mist. Return to me, for I have redeemed you.” Isaiah 44:22
I knew God did not want me to dwell on my 'offense', but still, like every other day, to serve and love him! The lack of TV was a sacrifice for me and I know that God understood that and I hope found joy in that offering. But this verse came to me in another sense later in the day too. If you know me, you know I have a bad habit of hitting myself on anything and everything as I walk by it. So as it happens many times a day, I kicked a toy as I walked to let our dog out, and harsh words start coming to my mind, some pouring out of my mouth. I felt very negative- about the incident, about myself, and about my reaction. Again I had a lot of options- just forget about it, try again tomorrow to fight my quick temper, justify my actions, apologize to my kids who saw my overreaction, etc. I thought of this verse because I hear many Christians, including myself sometimes, say/think that they have never had that 'big conversion' experience, making it harder to share the Gospel with others. To that I say that times like today are my real conversion experiences- each little choice/failure/poor decision/joy- can be an opportunity to come to God and praise Him. So my prayers today are that we would have the courage to face these important conversion experiences and no matter what the outcome, to return to God - repent if necessary, but praise and rely on Him for each situation.
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