Last week a few things happened that have changed the way I plan to go about prayer and fasting in the future- at least for a little while :)
First, one of my closest friends texted me on Thursday morning that she was preparing for a surgery later that afternoon and was not allowed to eat or drink anything until almost dinner time. It would be a long day for her not only because of an empty stomach, but also because the surgery had the potential to affect her future to bear children or not. My heart ached for her, and a simple prayer did not seem sufficient. I thought how appropraite a time of prayer and fasting would be- we would be brought together in 'suffering' without food, and 'suffering' together in prayer for this upcoming surgery. I ended up talking myself out of it because I had just fasted two days before, had prayed for this friend and her situation, and I knew that she is is such a beloved child of God, I'm sure He is watching over her already. How sad, right? I know I missed an opportunity to experience God deeply that day, to experience the Church really being the church in bearing each other's burdens, and showing the love of God to a friend.
Second, I have been praying a lot about how God could use me to show love to other children in our neighborhood. Some of them seem especially starved of attention, have not learned respect for others or themselves, do not have the opportunities our children have for fun and interaction. I admit that these have been the reasons I find myself being judgemental, annoyed, and avoid the playground if there are many children. I continually repent of this attitude, and have made some committments like not talking on the phone while outside, really trying to learn the kid's names, personalities, and show them how special they are. After only a short time of praying and committing to this, an older girl from the neighborhood invited us over to her house for a playdate. I felt a little weird about because she was 8 and my daughter is 3, and I did not know anything about her home or family. We went anyway and ended up having some great interactions with her and her parents. This girl invited herself over for dinner, then to church with us on Sunday (her first time ever being at church :), and for lunch after church on Sunday. After each one of these encounters, I sighed a little bit and said, 'whew', thanks God for that opportunity- now I am happy to go back to my own home, own family, own plans. But when this sweet little girl innocently continued to invite herself over, I got a little panicky, thinking about how we would feed another mouth, rearrange our dinner table or car, or deal with the heightened energy level....silly, I know.
In both of these situations and more, God has been helping me understand that when I committ to following him, He will direct me to serve and love others in His time, not mine. I am thankful for the time I spent fasting on a regular basis because I felt the joy of being in God's presence, experiencing His heart as I joined Him in prayer for others and our world. I have been learning to put others before myself, deny my own needs, and remember that I do not live on bread alone. But now that I have understood and experienced fasting, instead of keeping a specific day and time, I sense God calling me to watch, wait, and listen for when He is calling me back to this for specific need of others. And if I pray for God to increase my love for others, I need to be prepared to love them where and when God directs, not just when it is convenient and easy for me.
Thank you, God for these experiences with you! I will continue to watch and wait for You, and be obedient to your calls to join in the work you are doing around us. Thank you for equipping me with extra measures of faith to see with Your eyes and feel with Your heart.
Tuesday, March 20, 2012
Tuesday, March 13, 2012
A New Kind of Food
In general, I am not a very adventurous eater. I would be fine eating the same few foods every week- especially ones that I know are easy to cook and clean up after :) But a verse came up this weekend that so obviously related to fasting that I could not ignore it, and have been praying more today about what it could really look like in my life- am I finding nourishment, fulfillment in the right places?
The Word: “My food,” said Jesus, “is to do the will of him who sent me and to finish his work." John 4:34
So in the obvious sense, I have been practicing this discipline of fasting because I realized after getting married, and continue to learn after having kids, what a selfish person I really am. I knew that I could never fully love or serve God and others with this selfishness getting in the way. So giving up lunch for a day reminds me that life is not about me and my needs, that there are a lot of hungry people in the world- physically and spirtually who need to hear and experience the Good News of Jesus Christ. But in an even deeper sense, I think about the many 'needs' Jesus had when He gave this answer to his disciples when they urged Him to eat- the disciples were looking out for Jesus' image trying to pull Him away from a Samaritan harlot, we are told in the story that Jesus was tired and thirsty, and He could have had a lot on His mind going to Galilee to face the Pharisee's questioning about his growing following. How often do I miss opportunities to experience the presence and restoration of God (like Jesus had with the Samaritan woman), because I am judgemental, apathetic, too physically tired, have a lot on my mind, or busy with things that do not have eternal significance. I think God has made me able to overcome distraction because of physical hunger now, but I know there are still other things I 'hunger' for throughout the day, that in the pursuit of I can miss opportunities to be fed with true food.
I was super tired after putting the kids down for naps today (maybe daylight savings?), but the thought of following up on a Youtube video I saw about Kony2012 and the Invisible Children filled me up with this kind of spiritual food I think Jesus is talking about. If you are reading this blog and you have not seen it, would you go to Youtube and search for it? I have not done anything yet, but I care a lot. There are a lot of worldly things that could distract me from taking some action! Would you hold me accountable to doing the will of God- defending the rights of the poor and opporessed, and finish His work in calling all people freedom in Christ!
Prayer: To be looking for God at work all around us and not be distracted by other worldly 'needs', and to experience this feeling of being fed with true food as we do the work of God.
The Word: “My food,” said Jesus, “is to do the will of him who sent me and to finish his work." John 4:34
So in the obvious sense, I have been practicing this discipline of fasting because I realized after getting married, and continue to learn after having kids, what a selfish person I really am. I knew that I could never fully love or serve God and others with this selfishness getting in the way. So giving up lunch for a day reminds me that life is not about me and my needs, that there are a lot of hungry people in the world- physically and spirtually who need to hear and experience the Good News of Jesus Christ. But in an even deeper sense, I think about the many 'needs' Jesus had when He gave this answer to his disciples when they urged Him to eat- the disciples were looking out for Jesus' image trying to pull Him away from a Samaritan harlot, we are told in the story that Jesus was tired and thirsty, and He could have had a lot on His mind going to Galilee to face the Pharisee's questioning about his growing following. How often do I miss opportunities to experience the presence and restoration of God (like Jesus had with the Samaritan woman), because I am judgemental, apathetic, too physically tired, have a lot on my mind, or busy with things that do not have eternal significance. I think God has made me able to overcome distraction because of physical hunger now, but I know there are still other things I 'hunger' for throughout the day, that in the pursuit of I can miss opportunities to be fed with true food.
I was super tired after putting the kids down for naps today (maybe daylight savings?), but the thought of following up on a Youtube video I saw about Kony2012 and the Invisible Children filled me up with this kind of spiritual food I think Jesus is talking about. If you are reading this blog and you have not seen it, would you go to Youtube and search for it? I have not done anything yet, but I care a lot. There are a lot of worldly things that could distract me from taking some action! Would you hold me accountable to doing the will of God- defending the rights of the poor and opporessed, and finish His work in calling all people freedom in Christ!
Prayer: To be looking for God at work all around us and not be distracted by other worldly 'needs', and to experience this feeling of being fed with true food as we do the work of God.
Tuesday, March 6, 2012
Seek First
You know how people always grumble on Mondays, about how the weekend went by too quickly, it won't be the weekend for another 5 days, there's so much to do, etc. Well, I love Mondays! To keep from workng on the sabbath, anything that pops into my head to do, I just write down, and when that is added to all of the things I didn't finish from last week, by Monday I have a pretty long list. I am not usually overwhelmed by this, in fact I love crossing things off as I do them, and I never want to feel like I have 'nothing' to do! Yesterday after I put the kids down for nap time though, I wasn't feeling my normal excitement about tackling that to-do list. I found myself wishing that it were Tuesday. I wanted to run to my Bible, to pray, to send people letters of encouragement. Sadly, I talked myself out of it and did a few 'essentials' first, then ended up writing some letters to people. Now I totally understand that these things to be done (like that rental agreement that needs to be renewed for us to live here!), but I heard God reminding me yesterday and today to...
The Word:
"Seek FIRST the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well." Matthew 6:33
"These things" Jesus is talking about are the food, clothing, and shelter, which in the previous chapters He told them not to worry about. So even though I need to maintain these basic needs of living, I need to trust that seeking God and serving Him first is a better way to live. I absolutely saw this promise fulfilled in college when God prompted me to memorize scripture- a lot of scripture, like I would spend at least two hours every day in the corner of the library overlooking campus just praying and reviweing memory verses. A friend once asked me how I had time to do this, she felt so swamped with school work and other extra-curriculars. My only answer was to paraphrase this verse to her- that I didn't really know, but when I made time for this, everything else still got done somehow. No we could continue analyzing this all day- was my course load lighter than hers, my subjects easier, was I faster at completing assignments, did she have more going on, etc. I fully admit the importance of not being overcommitted (though in college I had a lot of committments!), to leave room for 'Holy Interruptions' and service, and I know some things had to be sacrificed by taking this time (so I got a 90% on a test instead of a 100%), but I am so confident that it was 'worth' the time in the way that God revealed Himself to me through His words, taught me to love others, recognize truth when I see it, identify where God is working, etc. I have a daily quiet time almost every morning, but I am finding an increased joy in Tuesday afternoons that I know I owe a debt of thanks to God for- His presence brings light, joy, peace.....and next time I feel God calling me to Himself, whether it is Monday afternoon, Friday morning- whenever- I will thank Him for reminding me of my need for Him, and stop to enjoy Him!
Prayer:
That we will seek FIRST His kingdom and His righteousness, and trust God will provide.
The Word:
"Seek FIRST the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well." Matthew 6:33
"These things" Jesus is talking about are the food, clothing, and shelter, which in the previous chapters He told them not to worry about. So even though I need to maintain these basic needs of living, I need to trust that seeking God and serving Him first is a better way to live. I absolutely saw this promise fulfilled in college when God prompted me to memorize scripture- a lot of scripture, like I would spend at least two hours every day in the corner of the library overlooking campus just praying and reviweing memory verses. A friend once asked me how I had time to do this, she felt so swamped with school work and other extra-curriculars. My only answer was to paraphrase this verse to her- that I didn't really know, but when I made time for this, everything else still got done somehow. No we could continue analyzing this all day- was my course load lighter than hers, my subjects easier, was I faster at completing assignments, did she have more going on, etc. I fully admit the importance of not being overcommitted (though in college I had a lot of committments!), to leave room for 'Holy Interruptions' and service, and I know some things had to be sacrificed by taking this time (so I got a 90% on a test instead of a 100%), but I am so confident that it was 'worth' the time in the way that God revealed Himself to me through His words, taught me to love others, recognize truth when I see it, identify where God is working, etc. I have a daily quiet time almost every morning, but I am finding an increased joy in Tuesday afternoons that I know I owe a debt of thanks to God for- His presence brings light, joy, peace.....and next time I feel God calling me to Himself, whether it is Monday afternoon, Friday morning- whenever- I will thank Him for reminding me of my need for Him, and stop to enjoy Him!
Prayer:
That we will seek FIRST His kingdom and His righteousness, and trust God will provide.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)