I admit i have no self control around fresh baked goods. A friend once suggested to me following her example of baking, but then giving the product away. I was always happy to receive her gifts of goodies, but I responded that if I am going to make the effort to bake (which is effort to me, only a tiny bit fun), then I want to enjoy it all! yesterday I was gifted a GIANT zucchini by another gardener when the children and I were out working on ours, so I decided to make zucchini bread (with chocolate chips of course) for a neighbor I had been wanting to connect with again, and for some relatives we would be staying with and seeing this weekend. Even though these were my intentions to start with, the sadness of not eating any today is sinking in now as I smell the delicious bread in the oven. I know I could easily make a case for me tasting one muffin just to make sure they are edible for said recipients :) but I know that my decision today has the potential to continue changing my heart into that of a servant. If I am honest I know that it's not just baking that I find this attitude. I am happy to love and serve others...but I also really want some things in return, from them or from God. I feel like I am 'putting the time in' to do something, and I should be able to expect a little something in return, right?
THE WORD: "But love your enemies, do good to them, and lend to them without expecting to get anything back. Then your reward will be great, and you will be children of the Most High, because he is kind to the ungrateful and wicked." Luke 6:35
Oh darn, that Word of God always seems to go against that sinful nature I feel creeping up. I guess if it will please God to spend lots of time baking and give it away, that could make my heart just as happy as indulging in my baked deliciousnes. This change may not be overnight, I may have to start by giving a fraction away, then increasing the fraction over time. I know it's sad, but I'm serious :) I hope also that next time I am in a situation where I have earned or get to do something really cool and have the opportunity to share it or give it away, I pray my heart will be more eager to give that away too, without expecting anything in return!
PRAYER: To be willing to give away more of my time, products of my time, even gifts, without expecting anything in return.
FOOD STORY: Still pregnant (praise God), still feeling great (praise God). We have late dinner plans tonight and I doubt I will make it until then, but already telling myself to wait on testing one of these delicious muffins until we get home and reaching for some less exciting snack to tide me over after giving great thanks and praise to God to break my fast. Off I got to make one more batch- because I really wasn't lying about how GIANT that zucchini is!
Tuesday, July 24, 2012
Tuesday, July 17, 2012
Being Selfish
Tonight, the leadership board of our church is meeting to discuss how to proceed if (sounds more like when) our senior pastor takes a position at another church. When he made this emotional announcement on Sunday, I did not have a strong reaction either way. We love this church so much and trust that it is serving and following the Lord, so one person leaving will not change that too much. What I especially loved in his sermon, was how he talked of serving the Church with a big 'C', whether that meant with us, as he wanted to, or at this new place, as he felt God wanted him to. He had a dream of seeing God move in a big way here in our city, some of which he has seen in his time here, some he trusted was yet to come- but he heard God telling him that these things were going to happen without him. He had to let the dream go to follow God's command, and we have to let him. Because our pastor is not really 'our' pastor. We are all part of The Church, and need to trust that God is sending him where he is needed, whether it is with us or not. We can all tell this has been a difficult decision, but he reminded us that we are not just 'playing' church, we really do believe that when God directs, we follow.
This got me thinking- what are my dreams? What if God called me to something totally different, even if I thought it was a dream that would draw myself and others to Him and bring Him Glory? Would I trust and go/do willingly, fight for what I wanted and thought was best, or simply pretend I didn't hear the command in the first place? Am I just 'playing' being a Christian, or am I really trying to hear from God and willing to adjust my life to His direction?
The Word: "Trust in the Lord with all of your heart and lean not on your understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him and He will make your paths straight" Prov. 3:5-6
Prayer: For our leadership team and our pastor as they continue to determine God's plan for each of them, our church, and our mission to the world. For us the Church to seek the Lord in every decision and trust in following God's directions.
Food Story: I am feeling fabulous this week, and though I feel convicted saying that my attitude has turned around because my health has, for now I am just thankful and trying to share my positive attitude with other people. Since I am feeling better altogether, I decided to try and fast as normal. I did have a late morning cracker snack when I was feeling nauseous. I started preparing a lunch as normal but checked myself and knew that I was really just doing it out of habit, and my body really felt capable today. It is now late afternoon and I can tell I will have the opportunity to practice repenting of the sin I first mentioned of maintaining a good attitude even if my body is not feeling great :)
This got me thinking- what are my dreams? What if God called me to something totally different, even if I thought it was a dream that would draw myself and others to Him and bring Him Glory? Would I trust and go/do willingly, fight for what I wanted and thought was best, or simply pretend I didn't hear the command in the first place? Am I just 'playing' being a Christian, or am I really trying to hear from God and willing to adjust my life to His direction?
The Word: "Trust in the Lord with all of your heart and lean not on your understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him and He will make your paths straight" Prov. 3:5-6
Prayer: For our leadership team and our pastor as they continue to determine God's plan for each of them, our church, and our mission to the world. For us the Church to seek the Lord in every decision and trust in following God's directions.
Food Story: I am feeling fabulous this week, and though I feel convicted saying that my attitude has turned around because my health has, for now I am just thankful and trying to share my positive attitude with other people. Since I am feeling better altogether, I decided to try and fast as normal. I did have a late morning cracker snack when I was feeling nauseous. I started preparing a lunch as normal but checked myself and knew that I was really just doing it out of habit, and my body really felt capable today. It is now late afternoon and I can tell I will have the opportunity to practice repenting of the sin I first mentioned of maintaining a good attitude even if my body is not feeling great :)
Thursday, July 12, 2012
Mixing it up when I'm all mixed up
So all this week, especially Tuesday- my normal prayer and fasting day- I have been feeling really off. As I shared before, this could just be baby symptoms, but I also have had serious back and neck pain, headache, fatigue, and along with that comes a general crankiness :) I thought about praying and fasting Tuesday after the kids were down for nap time, but it was only a fleeting thought as I curled up in my bed with my rice socks and blanket. Today I was catching up on the introduction of our life group's new study on prayer (which I missed because of said sicknesses), and taking time to pray as it suggested, I realized that I have been very self-centered and forgetful about how God has restored me body and soul when I take the time to seek rest in Him rather than simply physical rest. Even though I am still not feeling wonderful, taking time to worship God in prayer and think about His purpose for me and the others around me that He loves has perked me up :) And as I type and go about the rest of the day, I am going to try and live like I read about it Revelation today:
The Word: "Then the four living creatures said, 'Amen!' And the twenty-four elders fell down and worshipped Him who lives forever and ever." Revelation 5:14
I know 'Amen' can be used as an affirmation or agreement in prayer, but when I first read it, I just loved the picture of the many verses of worship and adoration beforehand (verses 8-13), then this at the end....and it just kept going! I am excited to start our group study on transforming to a worship-based style of prayer that is lived throughout each day.
Prayer: That I would remember to worship God in whatever state I am in and seek intimacy in prayer that leads to the fulfillment of His purposes (paraphrasing Alvin Reid).
Food Story: It may be a cop-out, I don't know, but as I implied before, I ate on Tuesday and dedicated very little time to prayer, and I ate lunch again today because I am getting regular bouts of nausea, mostly when I have not eaten in a while. But instead, I figured God would not mind me mixing it up a bit by committing to even more than 1 day a week of prayer- crazy I know! A website was created to sign up for prayer slots during the annual arts fest here. The idea is to cover the city and the tens of thousands who come just for this with the presence of God, very cool :) At first I was a little intimidated by the website, asking for prayer warriors and intercessors. I have not gotten any official training or received my intercessor certificate from the church or anything (haha), but I am stepping out to make this committment because I know our city, like every city will be blessed if our God is the Lord, and the same goes for my life!
The Word: "Then the four living creatures said, 'Amen!' And the twenty-four elders fell down and worshipped Him who lives forever and ever." Revelation 5:14
I know 'Amen' can be used as an affirmation or agreement in prayer, but when I first read it, I just loved the picture of the many verses of worship and adoration beforehand (verses 8-13), then this at the end....and it just kept going! I am excited to start our group study on transforming to a worship-based style of prayer that is lived throughout each day.
Prayer: That I would remember to worship God in whatever state I am in and seek intimacy in prayer that leads to the fulfillment of His purposes (paraphrasing Alvin Reid).
Food Story: It may be a cop-out, I don't know, but as I implied before, I ate on Tuesday and dedicated very little time to prayer, and I ate lunch again today because I am getting regular bouts of nausea, mostly when I have not eaten in a while. But instead, I figured God would not mind me mixing it up a bit by committing to even more than 1 day a week of prayer- crazy I know! A website was created to sign up for prayer slots during the annual arts fest here. The idea is to cover the city and the tens of thousands who come just for this with the presence of God, very cool :) At first I was a little intimidated by the website, asking for prayer warriors and intercessors. I have not gotten any official training or received my intercessor certificate from the church or anything (haha), but I am stepping out to make this committment because I know our city, like every city will be blessed if our God is the Lord, and the same goes for my life!
Tuesday, July 3, 2012
Rejoicing over 1
So I am a little bit down this afternoon, though I shouldn't be because it is our son's second birthday and we had a wonderful morning together. But what is sad is that I am finishing up plans for his birthday party two days from now and it looks as though most of our/his friends will not be available. I planned lots of cool games, goodie bags, and am continuing my tradition of making his creative, themed, birthday cake- and I just want more people there to share it all with us. I prayed first today about being more thankful for those who will be with us, and just for our family and our son in general, and a verse came to mind:
The Word: "In the same way, I tell you, there is rejoining in the presence of the angels of God over one sunner who repents." Luke 15:10
This verse just reminded me that God throws a party for ONE when they come to Him- he doesn't have the angels wait around for a few more people to come and make all the preparations/efforts worthwhile. So whether there are 5 or 10 or 20, each life is as special to us as it is to God and we will celebrate it with great joy! As I was writing this, a group of our neighborhood girls knocked on the door and asked to join us for dinner. Since I am not in the cheeriest mood as I said before, my immediate response was 'no, tonight is our son't birthday and we want to be able to focus on him'. But really we have had a lot of time for that already tonight, and will have more tonight, and here I am complaining about lack of party-goers when they are knocking on my door asking to celebrate with us. Excuse me while I run out to tell them I spoke too hastily and we would love their company to show our son how loved he is!
Food Story: So we have not made the big announcement to everyone yet because I have not been to the doctor, but we are expecting a third child next February! Today being my first fast since being pregnant, I am struggling with whether to continue or not. I have been somewhat nauseous this morning, which is unusual compared to my last two pregnancies, and am also feeling hungry. The debate continues, almost halfway through the afternoon as to whether to eat some crackers just for the nausea....I think like the Sabbath being made for man, not man for the Sabbath, this practice of fasting has really been for my 'gain' in emptying myself more and more and bringing me closer to God. So if I need to cut myself a little slack as I grow a human life inside of me :), I think some crackers or other bland food will not hinder this goal!
The Word: "In the same way, I tell you, there is rejoining in the presence of the angels of God over one sunner who repents." Luke 15:10
This verse just reminded me that God throws a party for ONE when they come to Him- he doesn't have the angels wait around for a few more people to come and make all the preparations/efforts worthwhile. So whether there are 5 or 10 or 20, each life is as special to us as it is to God and we will celebrate it with great joy! As I was writing this, a group of our neighborhood girls knocked on the door and asked to join us for dinner. Since I am not in the cheeriest mood as I said before, my immediate response was 'no, tonight is our son't birthday and we want to be able to focus on him'. But really we have had a lot of time for that already tonight, and will have more tonight, and here I am complaining about lack of party-goers when they are knocking on my door asking to celebrate with us. Excuse me while I run out to tell them I spoke too hastily and we would love their company to show our son how loved he is!
Food Story: So we have not made the big announcement to everyone yet because I have not been to the doctor, but we are expecting a third child next February! Today being my first fast since being pregnant, I am struggling with whether to continue or not. I have been somewhat nauseous this morning, which is unusual compared to my last two pregnancies, and am also feeling hungry. The debate continues, almost halfway through the afternoon as to whether to eat some crackers just for the nausea....I think like the Sabbath being made for man, not man for the Sabbath, this practice of fasting has really been for my 'gain' in emptying myself more and more and bringing me closer to God. So if I need to cut myself a little slack as I grow a human life inside of me :), I think some crackers or other bland food will not hinder this goal!
Tuesday, June 19, 2012
A Quiet Home
Our children are with my parents this week so that I can go with our youth group to camp. I have a few days until I leave, so it is very quiet today. Many times on Tuesday afternoons I have prayed for longer nap times, no interruptions, etc. but have more recently become content with whatever the day brings and listen for God speaking to me in other ways rather than the silence. So even though I am extremely grateful for the quietness of today, it has been a while since I have listened for an extended period of time without any other noise or activity, and I don't know that I heard much. I am trusting that God can speak to my spirit even without my knowledge, and pray that our relationship can grow despite times of 'awkward' silence in our communication :) Since I did not feel like I was hearing/saying much, I just meditated on being thankful for life in general- my life, my husband's, my children, family, friends.
The Word:
"Unless the Lord builds the house, the builders labor in vain. Unless the Lord watches over the cty, the guards stand watch in vain. In vain you rise early and stay up late, toiling for food to eat- for He grants sleep to those he loves. Children are a heritage from the Lord, offspring a reward from him." Psalm 127:1-3
Even though I usually think about that last verse in terms of women who are trying/just become pregnant, I also thought of myself as being a reward. God created me for the opportunity to show the world more of Him and give Him glory. Psalm 127 reminds me that whatever I do- spending time in silence, serving some other person, cleaning the house- I get to live as Christ's reward if He is in all that I do.
Prayer:
Thank you, God, for creating me for a purpose. I want you to be in everything I do because with you there are true rewards of life, peace, hope, fullness, and freedom.
The Word:
"Unless the Lord builds the house, the builders labor in vain. Unless the Lord watches over the cty, the guards stand watch in vain. In vain you rise early and stay up late, toiling for food to eat- for He grants sleep to those he loves. Children are a heritage from the Lord, offspring a reward from him." Psalm 127:1-3
Even though I usually think about that last verse in terms of women who are trying/just become pregnant, I also thought of myself as being a reward. God created me for the opportunity to show the world more of Him and give Him glory. Psalm 127 reminds me that whatever I do- spending time in silence, serving some other person, cleaning the house- I get to live as Christ's reward if He is in all that I do.
Prayer:
Thank you, God, for creating me for a purpose. I want you to be in everything I do because with you there are true rewards of life, peace, hope, fullness, and freedom.
Tuesday, June 12, 2012
Being Thankful
I have been happily surprised by the book I am reading: "One Thousand Gifts". I thought, "How could a person fill a whole book with just a list of 1,000 things?" But the book is more of a journey to seek a more thankful attitude. She states early on her reason for writing a list is that naming the blessings of God is a way of receiving them and giving thanks for them. She also points out that Paul said , "I have learned the secret to being content in all things...." that it takes a process of learning and some work to be thankful and content. One final example that stuck out to me was the story of the 10 lepers that Jeusus cleansed. One returns and gives thanks to Jesus and He responds, "Go, your faith has made you well". Jesus doesn't just cure him of his leprosy, he gives him an opportunity for a miraculous encounter with the living God and healing for eternity. The reason he got to experience all of this was because he had a thankful heart- thankfulness preceeded the miracle. How many times do I forget to express thankfulness for a prayer or desire answered or abundant blessing, and even more so, how many times do I give thanks even before one of these is bestowed?
The Word: "And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him." Colossians 3:17
This blog, the same as making a list, is my way of receiving and being thankful for God revealing Himself to me in different ways, for bringing his Word to us, and recommitting parts of myself He has shown me that have strayed. I am interested in also making one of these lists some time- it just sounds like fun and a great way to appreciate God in the ordinary and extraordinary things in life.
Prayer: God, I pray that with every action, response, or request I make, that I will remember and focus on your faithfulness and be overwhelmed by a sense of gratitude that drives my whole being.
The Word: "And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him." Colossians 3:17
This blog, the same as making a list, is my way of receiving and being thankful for God revealing Himself to me in different ways, for bringing his Word to us, and recommitting parts of myself He has shown me that have strayed. I am interested in also making one of these lists some time- it just sounds like fun and a great way to appreciate God in the ordinary and extraordinary things in life.
Prayer: God, I pray that with every action, response, or request I make, that I will remember and focus on your faithfulness and be overwhelmed by a sense of gratitude that drives my whole being.
Tuesday, June 5, 2012
For Freedom
Today has been one of those really great days so far, I am feeling extra grateful for all of the blessings in our lives, filled with the Spirit in loving, being patient, etc. On top of that, I am not even feeling very hungry. So as I was praying I thought maybe I should bring to God some additional sacrifice, you know, to make sure I was really suffering through this afternoon :) Quickly after this thought, the Spirit convicted me with a verse we studied at Life Group last night and reminding me that this was not about me going hungry, me feeling like I am righteously giving up something important, or suffering.
The Word
For "It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not be burdened by a yolk of slavery" Galations 5:1
We talked about many examples last night where we can see ourselves being enslaved by ideas, practices, requirements, etc. that God has freed us from, but today this verse struck on a very literal tone with me. Just as the sabbath is a gift to man, so is this quiet time where God promises that He will come and meet me when I seek Him. Today I was able to also be in prayer for friends in other countries where it really does appear outwardly that they are enslaved as followers of Christ, but inwardly they know they possess the whole world and more. So instead of coming up with my own forced, superficial sacrifices, I am resting in the freedom I have to worship God here in the US and thanking Him for a beautiful day as his child in His creation!
Prayer
God, please continue to search me and make me aware of how I am enslaved by things of this world or demands I may try and place on myself. Transform me and renew my mind to focus only on you.
The Word
For "It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not be burdened by a yolk of slavery" Galations 5:1
We talked about many examples last night where we can see ourselves being enslaved by ideas, practices, requirements, etc. that God has freed us from, but today this verse struck on a very literal tone with me. Just as the sabbath is a gift to man, so is this quiet time where God promises that He will come and meet me when I seek Him. Today I was able to also be in prayer for friends in other countries where it really does appear outwardly that they are enslaved as followers of Christ, but inwardly they know they possess the whole world and more. So instead of coming up with my own forced, superficial sacrifices, I am resting in the freedom I have to worship God here in the US and thanking Him for a beautiful day as his child in His creation!
Prayer
God, please continue to search me and make me aware of how I am enslaved by things of this world or demands I may try and place on myself. Transform me and renew my mind to focus only on you.
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