I am currently reading "The Cost of Discipleship" by Dietrich Bonhoeffer, and wouldn't you know that some things about fasting stuck out to me: customs such as fastng "have only one purpose- to make disciples more ready and cheerful to accomplish those things which God would have done. Fasting helps to discipline the self-indulgent and slothful will which is so reluctant to serve the Lord...When the flesh is satisfied it is hard to pray with cheerfulness or to devote one-self to a life of service which calls for much self-renunciation." Fasrinf has not helped me feel more self-righteous, but rather more aware of my self-indulgent nature and the need to eradicate it- on at least a weekly basis. I would love to say that switching to a more spontaneous fast when needs arose, but I found too many excuses and probably passed up many opportunities to draw nearer to God's heart in praying for needs of others.
I understand some might see this as heaping up duties or rules on myself, but really I have just been missing that closeness, hungering, and other-centered focus I felt during the months of regular prayer and fasting. And writing in this blog was also a great way to make sure I was actually listening and taking time to think about what God was revealing to me, and be able to go back and be reminded regularly of these things.
I am expecting God will make Himself known to me even more deeply when I seek Him with all my heart. I am looking forward to next Tuesday!
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