The Back-Up Plan

Do you ever have those days where you feel like you're running on auto-pilot? Usually I am thankful for this setting and appreciate getting plenty of work done without having to direct each action. So I took the kids out for our usual picnic lunch, brought them back for reading and nap times, then went to the fridge, prepared a nice lunch and and ate it while watching The Family Feud. After cleaning up from the morning, my brain finally started to think again about what to do for the afternoon and I remembered- it's Tuesday! Shoot, now my brain went into overdrive- feeling bad for not keeping my committment, ashamed at just being so forgetful in general, etc. I thought about just forgetting the day all together and waiting until next week, skipping dinner instead...or I could fast from something else this afternoon. I decided not to turn on the TV all afternoon in order to pray and meditate on God's Word while completing chores and other tasks this day.

"I have swept away your offenses like a cloud, your sins like the morning mist. Return to me, for I have redeemed you.”  Isaiah 44:22

I knew God did not want me to dwell on my 'offense', but still, like every other day, to serve and love him! The lack of TV was a sacrifice for me and I know that God understood that and I hope found joy in that offering. But this verse came to me in another sense later in the day too. If you know me, you know I have a bad habit of hitting myself on anything and everything as I walk by it. So as it happens many times a day, I kicked a toy as I walked to let our dog out, and harsh words start coming to my mind, some pouring out of my mouth. I felt very negative- about the incident, about myself, and about my reaction. Again I had a lot of options- just forget about it, try again tomorrow to fight my quick temper, justify my actions, apologize to my kids who saw my overreaction, etc. I thought of this verse because I hear many Christians, including myself sometimes, say/think that they have never had that 'big conversion' experience, making it harder to share the Gospel with others. To that I say that times like today are my real conversion experiences- each little choice/failure/poor decision/joy- can be an opportunity to come to God and praise Him. So my prayers today are that we would have the courage to face these important conversion experiences and no matter what the outcome, to return to God - repent if necessary, but praise and rely on Him for each situation.